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[05 Dec 2007|10:46am] As cheesy as this may be I got it in a chainletter and work and just wanted to have it always.. Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent...and so very appropriate. A Message by George Carlin: The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete... Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. 9heh

Gosh I love Lilly Allen [28 May 2007|11:55pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Lilly Allen- Take what you Take ] A picture paints a thousand words, As one door opens, another one closes, And two wrongs don't make a right Now good things come to those who wait, Take the highs with the lows dear, You'll get what your given and everything's gonna be alright. What the fuck do you know? Just cos you're old you think your wise, But who the hell are you though, I didn't even ask for your advice You wanna keep your mouth shut, You wanna take your thoughts elsewhere, Cos you're doing in my nut, And do you think I care? Chorus Say what you say, Do what you do Feel what you feel, As long as it's real. I said take what you take And give what you give Just be what you want, Just as long as it's real. Now by a horse, I once was told That all that glitters is not gold And all that is to fear is fear itself. This horsey also told me, I should keep my friends close but my enemies closer, So as to protect myself. What the fuck do you know? Just cos you're old you think your wise, But who the hell are you though, I didn't even ask for your advice You wanna keep your mouth shut, You wanna take your thoughts elsewhere, Cos you're doing in my nut, And do u think care? heh

[04 Apr 2007|06:26pm] [ mood | blah ] UNEMPLOYMENT BLOWS I AM SO BORED I STARTED PAINTING! AHHH >. 1heh

[16 Nov 2006|02:13am] I give so much, yet I receive so little. My life is a damn struggle. This is the first thanksgiving and christmas with out my grandpa since I can fully remember. I miss him. Work doesn't stop. It's not stop constant WORK WORK WORK. I have no time for me. I am losing my mind. Everything is unstable. Damn. I saw two shooting stars today. Two selfless wishes. I pray they come true. Goodnight sweet dreams. I hope you are happy, I am trying. heh

so I've started writing again. [07 Sep 2006|06:38am] [ mood | indifferent ] [ music | passenger seat- death cab for cutie ] So one of my friends boyfriends roommate passed away this last weekend. It was a motorcycle accident where he was driving on a ramp, hit a piece of debris lost control hit the wall of the ramp and fell 80ft in to a trailer park to his death. I did not know him but may he rest in peace. But that made me encouraged to write something, like it or not. I don't care. Sleep. Sleep your day away Your week A month or two Dream. Dream your day away Your week A month or two Lie. Lie your day away Your week A month or two Steal. Steal your day away Your week A month or two Live. Live your day away Your week A month or two Die. In a matter of seconds its all gone. You choose how you spend Your day, week, months Yet you always forget It can all disappear In a matter of seconds So live and dream And sleep and lie But steal the only chance You have Of living.. I'm leaving to chicago on the 15th. Bestfriend here I come. <3 2heh

[07 Aug 2006|06:41am] [ mood | sad ] Where'd you go? I miss you so. Seems like its been forever since you've been gone. Please come back home. I miss my bestfriend. =( 2heh

[12 Jul 2006|02:47am] [ mood | calm ] so a shit load has happened in the last two days. basically the end result is I moved back in to my house with my parents. But me and rod are still together. I think this was a better situation for me than where I was because it will allow me to save all my money that i was spending on food. I am happy about that. It's not too bad either. I actually really like it. and my parents are so happy. Today is wednesday because its morning and I swear I just want the next couple of days to fly by. Theres so much, i want and can't have and it just drives me insane. if i had all the things i wanted... oh man. anyways. thats all i wanted to say. I moved home and it was a pretty good choice, and now I am free to do whatever I want whenever I want. so if anyone wants to hang out, let me know =) goodnight sweetdreams. <3 4heh

[10 Jul 2006|01:49am] [ mood | tired ] another semi-late update. i cant sleep. i have such a hard time going to bed lately. I should really buy some sleeping pills, my sleeping habits are all retarded... i hate two things to look forward to in this upcoming week. drum circle and rocky horror picture show with my mommy. its going to be awesome. I cant wait. heh so italy won. rod and arnoldo painted their faces blue and i was telling them yeah sure italy will loose and you both will look like assholes but i was only saying that so i wouldnt jinx italy hah. i really didnt care who won. but they wanted italy to win. so yeah. i had a really out of the ordinary day. blaze made me go to greynolds because she demanded it to be 'my photo shoot' and she took a cajillion photos of me and then i went to aventura, ate and hung out with karla and toria, two girls from work that i never get to hang out with but totally adore. tomorrow is monday. another fucking week and every fucking week i just am like COME ON DAY OFF COME ON! and then the weekend comes i have it all off i get all damn excited and then its back to routine on monday. sigh. i hate such a long list of things to do.. i don't feel like doing a god damn thing but i know i have to. one day, i will have everything i ever wanted and be completely and totally happy. because ill appreciate everything i have. and take care of it.. and not take it for granted. if i could have anything in the entire world.. well a few things... a car. and my own kitchen. if i have my own kitchen. oh man. id love a room of my own. a bed of my own.. a place that was mine and for me. ahh i cant wait. I will have that. i will i will i will but for now i have to deal with all my shit and take babysteps to the big picture. wow im getting really sleepy. 2heh

[09 Jul 2006|02:52am] [ mood | pissed off ] i'd say in the last week or two i've come to the conclusion to never depend on another person again, because all they do no matter what, is let you down. HAH. p.s. anyone up for trading lives? I'm tired of mine. =D 4heh

[11 Mar 2006|01:44am] I havent updated in the longest, and honestly the only reason I am updating now is because Rod is SNORING and I am awake still and bored. I am tired. my manager quit, one of the two people I can stand at work now are gone. I am scared I am going to loose my mind. i think I am already half way there. Me and rod's 10 month anniversary is this month.. yeah.. 10 months. long time. anyways. I dont know why I even bother writing in here, none of you fucks even care about my well being right? HAH. whatever. goodfucking night. 10heh

[20 Feb 2006|09:19pm] Leave your name and: 1. I'll respond with something random about you. 2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you. 3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in. 4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me. 5. I'll tell you my first memory of you. 6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of. 7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you. 8. If you do this you MUST post this on yours. You MUST. It is written. 14heh

[12 Feb 2006|07:00pm] [ mood | sick ] So I never seriously update anymore, and I guess its just the fear of actually hearing the truth come out of my mouth. I havent been this unhappy with things in a long time.I am trying really hard to become everything Ive wanted to be. I am getting sick.. So friday I go to see final destination 3.. >.< the first funeral scene i started crying and had to leave the theatre, i couldnt watch it anymore .. it was a bad night for me. the next morning i wake up and i see a cop on a bike and if you dont know it was police escort to my grandfathers funeral, and i was like what the hell.. next thing i know i see the hearse the limo and the hole thing of cars.. pass RIGHT IN FRONT OF me. it was the worst. everything has just consumed me. Ive been trying to keep my mind off things, and I have finally given up on something I have believed in for the last year. I am totally completely getting over it now. I have to.. id perfer not to be in pain. my throat is KILLING ME. and this cold weather makes me feel good/bad. I love the weather but since I sometimes have no means of transportation.. walking blows in this weather. I cant wait till Valentines. Just because rod says he has something planned. =) its 53 degrees itll be 41 tomorrow morning and 39 the day after that. I wish itd snow in florida, i would be so fucking happy. since ive never ever seen snow. i have too much on my mind. I cant wait to just sleep. Ive been having such a bad time sleeping. I wake up at random hours of the night and dream of the worst things. i have this hole in my stomach that just wont go away. my head hurts my throat hurts, and my ears hurt because of the cold..work tomorrow and tuesday, something im not entirely looking forward to. I have spoken to anyone enough lately. I miss my friends. If you guys ever want to hang out.. call me, id most likely be willing.... i hope everyones enjoying things. =) 2heh

[11 Feb 2006|03:39am] Post anything that you want (in comments), and post it anonymously. Anything. A story, a secret, a confession,a picture a fear, a love -- anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like. Then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say. 3heh

[08 Feb 2006|12:46am] i just want to say thank you to aurora and andrea.. you made me feel.. like i mattered. hah.. goodnight 2heh

[28 Jan 2006|02:19pm] just when i think things cant get any worse.. my grandpa passed away yesterday... ive been kinda in shock and it hasnt hit me, so hard.. but he was my only grandpa and me and him were really close, everytime he used to come down from north carolina he would spend months with the family.. my moms completely.. destroyed, and i think out of all my cousins, i feel the worse because me and him were the closest... i just, dont know. i'm completely..heart broken.. but now atleast he will be with my grandma... I love you grandpa, with every part of me, i just wish.. you were better at goodbyes... 3heh

[09 Jan 2006|11:58pm] [ mood | creative ] so the most amazing thing happened today that left me with a sense of hope.. me and blaze wanted to go out to dinner and we decided to go to Paquitos and we got seated in this corner really close to this table so close we could hear the conversation and it was a mom a grandma a son and a father. and as soon as we sit down we hear the dad tell the son who is between the ages of 8-10 telling hime 'im going to bash your head in, im going to send you away to military school, better yet ill send you to military school in brazil so you wont understand the language' and the son was trying not to cry and the mom and grandma are ignoring it and the dads like can i kick you in the balls so you can cry? and blaze was like we need to do something and im like if we say something it can make things worse for him when he leaves here because we cant control what happens after he leaves. and right next to the little kid was his bookbag half open so im like BLAZE lets ask the waiter for a pen and paper and write him a note and slip it in his book bag so when he opens it he knows there is some hope. and we ask the waiter and he blows us off.. so im searching throguh my bag for a pen and paper and i find this thing i made a year ago, it was a fortue cookie that read 'you can accomplish and complete any task that comes your way' (almost identical) and i put little hearts on it and it was a card. and we decided to slip that in so the next time the waiter came we slipped it in his bag, and right when they were getting ready to go the son reaches to close his bag and sees it, takes it out reads it and like takes a sigh and drops it back in his bookbag and zips it up and as he walks out me and blaze smile at him like itll be okay.. and as they leave (if you guys dont know paquitos is a mexican restaurent) that plays only reggaeton and suddenly the play the theme song of me and blaze frou frou - breathe in, and we were just shocked because this songs not on the radio or popular or anything and for it to come on randomly on some recording and switch back to reggaeton , i dont even know. it made me realize.. maybe i dont give up, and maybe i do have hope. i hope the best for that little kid, i really really really do. i love you guys. I love each and everyone of you that i took for granted. you guys do make a difference. hopefully its always a positive difference. goodnight and remember you can complete and accomplish any task that comes your way... goodnight.. p.s. i'm still in love with us. 2heh

[24 Dec 2005|01:34pm] So its been such a long time before my last update, but i finally have my life back. Work has brutally damaged me, physically to which every single joint in my body ached for days to mentally when I literally felt like I just couldnt do it anymore. It may not seem like a lot, but this Christmas it was me and my Manager against the world.. It was so hard, but me and my manager are really close now, which makes me happy. I have neglected my friendships and my relationship, and all i can do is apologize for not being there, but I warned everyone I wouldn't. I am still so tired but I've been sleeping and I can't wait till my life resumes to normal. Honestly though right now I have no time. I have to clean up Rods room. >.< and go spend some time with my family =) 8heh

[11 Dec 2005|12:43am] hey im alive.. and im 17 in a week from monday... im excited =) hope everyones amazing....<3 5heh

[01 Dec 2005|12:54am] I miss my bestfriend. The one person I can tell eevery single thing that comes across my mind and not once does she judge me.. is grounded. I MISS YOU BLAZE! =( I am getting sick, I am working my ass off. Mine and Rods clothing company is very fucking busy im exhausted. and my throat hurts. fuck. good night hope everyones doing good.. <3 2heh

so im in a good mood. [19 Nov 2005|01:55pm] soo theres a show tonight, promoting TEAR DROP CLOTHING.. woot woot! anyways eggnog is the shit and im tired so LATER! heh

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